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【Free Yourself from Mental Shackles】06 Moral Kidnapping – Part Two

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  • 【Free Yourself from Mental Shackles】06 Moral Kidnapping – Part Two
Speaker:Dr. Li Hai Ning, Grace
17 Dec 2025

How can we tell if a daily event happening around us is an instance of moral kidnapping? The line between moral kidnapping and emotional blackmail is thin, exemplifying a paradox in Chinese culture—a balanced unity of opposites.

Advocating the doctrine of the middle path—neither leaning too far left nor right—often presents numerous instances of moral kidnapping, particularly between married couples or lovers.

It is not uncommon to hear stinging remarks over housework duties in a double-income family, especially when one partner sinks into the sofa to read the newspaper or turns on the TV after a long day at work. It is important to spare a thought for the other half, who may need time and space to recover from the fatigue of the workplace. Rather than seeing this as an opportunity to coerce the other into doing housework by moralizing, try showing empathy and understanding instead.

The language and tone we adopt can either maintain or disrupt the delicate balance between both parties, leading to vastly different outcomes......

 

For Discussion:

  1. Do couples frequently engage in moral kidnapping? Provide common examples.
  2. How does moral kidnapping occur between parents and children? How would you handle it if your child fails to meet expectations?
  3. Suggest ways to avoid moral kidnapping in relationships.
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